Explore different positions out of your comfort zone until you find ones that work for you. Maybe you’re normally lounging but today’s the day to try it on all fours. Maybe you’ve always done it lying down and today’s the day to stand against a wall instead.
Think about the positions in which you usually masturbate - Always on your back? Always on your front? Legs open or closed? Straight or bent or tucked in? What hand are you using? - and try something new. In addition to being unexciting, these positions translate pretty poorly to partner sex, which means I’ve had to try new ones to teach my body to come literally any way that isn’t those two ways. Personally, I’ve found that I tend to masturbate one of two ways: on my stomach, which is the in-bed position I’ve been using since I first learned it, or sitting at my desk in front of my laptop, so I can take notes if I’m reviewing a sex toy. Part of trying different sensations is trying different positions. But what does it look like if you plan it out in advance? What does it feel like if you anticipate it, get excited for it, do your laundry or change your underwear or adjust the thermostat or make a playlist for it? Solo sex doesn’t need that kind of coordination, and as a result can sometimes have a lot less thought behind it. But largely, partner sex gets at least a little coordination time - even without planning a scene or elaborate sex toy prep, you still have to make sure you’re in the same place at the same time and on the same page about what you’re going to do. Sometimes masturbation is mostly about having an orgasm so you can get on with your day, just like sometimes partner sex is about getting off as fast as possible so you can go back to your table before the restaurant gives it away or whatever. This post was originally written in 2018 and republished in 2021.Īpproach a sex experience with yourself the same way you’d approach a sex experience with a partner. Where ever you are, here are a few new ways to reconnect and get down with yourself. Maybe you’ve been masturbating the same way forever and want to see what else is out (or in) there. Maybe you never really masturbate and don’t know where to start. (Plus, according to Autostraddle’s Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey open to queer women and anyone who identifies with that experience, queer women masturbate more times a week than straight women.)īut masturbation can also feel kinda weird! For one thing, a lot of people are up for talking about or bragging about or group-text-troubleshooting things that come up in partner sex, but solo sex doesn’t get the same treatment. Masturbation is the best way to learn what kinds of touch you might like, figure out new ways to have orgasms if you want orgasms, try a new toy without the pressure of a partner, and celebrate International Masturbation Month. Sex with yourself is part of a healthy sex life if you’re into that, whether you have seven girlfriends or zero. The 200 Best Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies Of All Time.LGBTQ Television Guide: What To Watch Now.